I’m here now
My imagination has always amused me. I’ve had to give myself a mental high five several times because of the sheer brilliance that goes on in my head or laugh out loud to my own musings in aisle 3 of a supermarket only to see the family next to me staring and blatantly annoyed by my sudden noise.. “hi guys” (walks swiftly away). Happens to everyone though, right? …anyone …no? ..oh
When I lost both my parents I didn’t realize that slowly I started visiting this happy place more and more until it became the place that got the majority of my attention. I would spend most of my time zoned out, deeply invested in my own thoughts, in particular, I would be thinking about my future. Surely, years later it wouldn’t still hurt this much. Perhaps I would have made sense of it all. I was fully persuaded that I would be fine then and so it became my comfort. But what about now? (as I stroke my imaginary beard). What do I do with myself in the present while I wait for my very bright future?
“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.”
― George Harrison
The truth then hit me, no matter how great my future is, no matter how much I will supposedly be fine then, no matter how good or bad my past was, I exist primarily in the present. Okay hold on, was this some sort of epiphany? maybe (mental high five). This changed my day to day attitude. There is such beauty in being fully present today that one simply cannot forfeit. Your loved ones need you to live long but they enjoy your company in the present. Forget for a moment that pie in the sky called escape that easily eats up the mind, the thought that one day I will escape all this pain, all these people or escape this place and perhaps give yourself fully to being there today.
“Real generosity towards the future lies in giving all to the present.”
― Albert Camus,
I’ve started enjoying the little everyday moments I never noticed before, I’ve started having random and meaningful conversations with people I never spoke to before. Perhaps living life to the fullest is not just a slogan for the reckless, it is the lifestyle of those who choose to be around today …here .. now.
“Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves – slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh
To that I say “indeed”